LET'S BREAK THE MONOTONY...

[Anakin Skywalker]

From time to time that is. Here's an "eyes-breaker" for the human in us. Enjoy!!! :lol:
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Pageant Night Miss Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion
The FINALISTS :

Miss America
Miss Spain
Miss Britain
Miss Philippines
Miss Iran
Miss India
Miss Japan

QUESTION : Ms. America, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. AMERICA : Well, I would say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.
QUESTION : Why do you say that?
MS. AMERICA : Because it stands everytime it sees a woman.....

(Applause!.... Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. SPAIN : Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight.
QUESTION : Why do you say that?
MS. SPAIN : Because it charges everytime it sees an opening.

(Applause!... Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. BRITAIN : Male organs in our country are like Shakespearian actors and Heroes.
QUESTION : Why do you say that?
MS. BRITAIN : Because it cries after every performance and because it is buried alive.

(Applause!... Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. IRAN : Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves
QUESTION : And why do you say that?
MS. IRAN : Because they always enter through the back door.....

(Applause!... Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. India, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. INDIA : Well, I can say that a male organ in India is like a labourer.
QUESTION : Why do you say that?
MS. INDIA : Because it works day and night....

(Applause!..Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Japan, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MISS JAPAN: It's like an actor in a stage play....because it bows down after every performance.

(Applause!..Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Philippines, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. PHILIPPINES : Ahh...well, opcors, hihihihi...I can say dat male organs in our country are like chismis...
QUESTION : Chismis???
MS. PHILIPPINES : Ayy! Sorry... Its ano, ahh kuwan...it means GOSSIP in our language.
QUESTION : Hmm... Interesting comparison. And why do you say that?
MS.PHILIPPINES : Ayy...Dyahe!!!!Hi hi hi hi hi hi...Kasi....I mean because it passes from mouth to mouth..

(STANDING OVATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

[FlushedMX]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :hb:
Ayos!!!

[InabrawSaluyot]

What the... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[dynamiclinklibrary]

This was during the Miss Earth Day pageant in Laoag City, right? :)

[Obiwan_Kenobi]

At Bill Gate's wife's first press conference:
Reporter: "How does it feel to have sex with the world's richest
man?"
BG's Wife: "No big deal...The world know's why he named his company
Microsoft!"
--------------------------------------------------------

Girl: Love, ania ti Christmas gift mo kanyak?
Boy: SECRET!
Girl: Wow! How sweet! You want it to be a surprise, ha?
Boy: Gaga! Secret, para dita kilikili'm!
---------------------------------------------------------

Tagalog ti asawa nga babae:May-bahay
Tagalog ti kabit nga babae: May-Condo

[IronMaiden]

At a conference/luncheon in Redmond hosted by Mrs. Gates of the "Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation," reporters from the Associated Press are fielding questions to Mrs. Melinda Gates.
One reporter's question and Melinda Gate's answer are worth noting:

Reporter:So, how does it feel, or how is it like to be married to the richest man in the world?
Melinda Gates: No big deal! Everyone knows why he named his company Microsoft!!!

[Onimusha]

Micro = tiny
Tiny na nga, soft pa?!!!

Hahahaahah :lol:

[Trinity]

:lol:

[Anakin Skywalker]

Hi All,

This one's for all the guys, :lol: Oh, and ladies, its for you too,(but in a diffrent way) read it it makes alot of sense...at least from a males point of view.

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down?

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. When you learn what a roller cam is, we'll learn what "damask" is.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. It is not in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep "outside the muskitero" tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that - it's like camping

Naimbag nga aldaw yo amin lallaki, babbai, bakla, shokey, tomboy ken un-classified!