What's In Your..... INBOX?

[Windoc]

Everyday I recieve so many emails from friends, relatives, from people I don't know and even from Bill Gates himself. Boy am I that important, huh!
These emails vary in subjects from simple notes to chain letters, greetings, words of wisdom and best of all (also my favorite) - jokes!

I can't remember how many jokes I've already received - AND TRASHED! Now I wish I had saved them - SO I CAN SHARE THEM WITH YOU :lol:

I don't recieve email jokes as much as before but if ever I do, I'll make sure I can share it.

I found some lurking in my "My Documents" folder:
************************************************** ***********
QUESTIONS:

In 1923, do you know who was...
president of the largest steel company?
president of the largest gas company?
president of the New York Stock Exchange?
greatest wheat speculator?
president of the Bank International Settlement?
the Great Bear of Wall Street?

Now, these men should have been considered some of the world's most successful men. At least, they found the secret to making bundles of money. Almost 80 years later, the history book asks us, do we know what actually became of these men?

ANSWERS:

The president of the largest steel company, Charles Schwab, died a pauper.
The president of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, went insane.
The president of the NYSE, Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home
The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless.
The president of the Bank of International Settlement shot himself.
The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Livermore, committed suicide.

However, in that same year-1923--the winner of the most important golf championship, Gene Sarazen, won both the US Open and PGA Championship.

What became of him, you ask? Well, he played golf until he was 92, died in 1999 at the age of 95, And was financially secure at the time of his death.

CONCLUSION:
Stop worrying about business and other nonsense and start playing golf.

[Windoc]

SENSUAL
The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her full lips, she sank into the comfort of the plush chair in the corner. The handsome stranger turned, having sensed her approach. Locking his steely gray eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her, his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing her with his soft murmurs of assurance.

He sank to his knees before her and without a word, smoothly released her from her constraining attire. With a sigh of surrender, she allowed his foreign hands to unleash her bare flesh. He expertly guided her through this tender, new territory, boldly taking her to heights she had never dared to dream of, his movements deliberate, confident in his ability to satisfy her every need.

Her senses swam. She was overcome with an aching desire that had gone unfulfilled for so long.

And, just as it seemed that ecstasy was within her grasp, he paused, and for one heart-stopping moment, she thought, "It's too big! - it will never fit!" Then, with a sudden rush, it slid into place as if it had been made only for her.

As pleasure and contentment washed over her, she met his steady gaze, tears of gratitude shining in her eyes. And he knew it wouldn't be long
before she returned. Oh, yes, this woman would want more. She would want to do it again and again and again............


DON'T YA JUST LOVE SHOPPING FOR SHOES ?

Naughty mind... :-)

[sadiri]

Daytoy met ti mai-share ko...

The Phrase "A.S.A.P."

Generally we think of it in terms of even more
hurry and stress in our lives.
(As Soon As Possible)

If we think of this abbreviation in a different manner,
we may begin to find a new way
to deal with our rough times.

A. S. A. P.
Always Say A Prayer!

There's work to do, deadlines to meet.
You have no time to spare.
But as you hurry and scurry...
Always Say A Prayer.

In the midst of family chaos,
"quality time" is rare.
Do your best; let God do the rest.
Always Say A Prayer.

It may seem like your worries
are more than you can bear.
Slow down and take a breather...
Always Say A Prayer.

God knows how stressful life can be,
and he wants to ease your cares.
He'll respond to all your needs...
Always Say A Prayer.

Today I'm saying a little prayer
that God will send a smile to you
and send you special blessings
through everything you do.

[FlushedMX]

some interesting bumper stickers

Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little
Better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My ***.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Illiterate? Write For Help.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If Sex Is A Pain In The ***, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For
70mph.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[gr8-one]

Here's what I got the other day and appears to be a scam.
Do Not - I repeat, DO NOT give out your credit card number. Do not reply! Simply put, delete it and make sure you check you credit card transactions.

The email is sent from darkprofits.com but when I checked the site, there was nothing!

(Please Note I am not a Child Pornography Webmaster nor do I maintain a website that's into porno)

Please Beware!

[BB-M]

I think there's another version of this which shows a fake Social Security Number and asks you to verify if that is yours.

Unsuspecting people might be misled to believe and type in their correct SSN, and with their email address, they have given what these crooks need to steal their identity.

Again, please beware

[Unai]

NAIL IN THE FENCE (Good Story for Great Friends)

There once was a little girl who had a bad temper. Her mother gave her a
bag of nails and told her that every time she lost her temper, she must
hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the girl had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next
few weeks, as she learned to control her anger, the number of nails
hammered daily gradually dwindled down. She discovered it was easier to
hold her temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the girl didn't lose her temper at all. She
told her mother about it and the mother suggested that the girl now pull
out one nail for each day that she was able to hold her temper.
The days passed and the young girl was finally able to tell her mother
that all the nails were gone. The mother took her daughter by the hand
and led her to the fence. She said, "You have done well, my daughter, but
look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you
say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one." You can put a
knife in a person and draw it out. It won' t matter how many times you
say I'm sorry; the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a
physical one.
Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage
you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they
always want to open their hearts to us.

Show your friends how much you care.

Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if it means sending it back
to the person who sent it to you. If it comes back to you, then you'll
know you have a circle of friends.

Happy Friendship week! You are my friend and I am honored.
Please send this to every friend and family member you have!!

Please forgive me if I have ever left a hole in your fence !?!?!?
************************************************** **************

Another chain letter, but.... :lol: Sikan ti agdesisyon gayyem :lol:

[InabrawSaluyot]

Nothing on my inbox, once I receive an e-mail, if they are not that improtant, I quickly delete them, and if they important I make a hard copy before deleting. I have been a victim of hackers so I have to make precautionary measures. :)

[Windoc]

Walang nage-email sayo ng jokes o yung mga chain-letter types?

[InabrawSaluyot]

Winnie Fred, meron, but I don't waste my time on answering them, they're just a wate of my precious time. Everything like that will go directly to trash.

[Anakin Skywalker]

Mind sharing the good jokes Inabraw?
Remember:
All work and no "play" makes Anakin a dull jedi
There are really some good jokes that are worth sharing - like the ones at the top(?) :lol:

[IronMaiden]

Some other bumper stickers:
- I brake for animals
- Cage the rage, arrive alive

[InabrawSaluyot]

Anakin: Pag me nag-send uli sa kin. Or check ko sa friendster ko. :)

[Roldan]

Subject: COMPANY POLICY

Now I understand how it works.

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the
cage, hang a banana
on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before
long, a monkey will
go to the stairs and start to climb towards the
banana. As soon as he
touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys
with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with
the same result - all
the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty
soon, when another
monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys
will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from
the cage and replace
it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and
wants to climb the
stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other
monkeys attack him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he
tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and
replace it with a new
one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked.
The previous newcomer
takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm!
Likewise, replace a third
original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then
the fifth. Every time
the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.
Most of the monkeys
that are beating him have no idea why they were not
permitted to climb the
stairs or why they are participating in the beating of
the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the
remaining monkeys
have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless,
no monkey ever again
approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not?
Because as far as
they know that's the way it's always been done around
here.

And that, my friends, is how company policy begins.

[Windoc]

Me, too!

[Windoc]

I WON THE LOTTERY

A woman gets home, screeches her car into the driveway, runs into the
house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your
bags. I won the damn lottery!" The husband says, "Oh my God! No shit?
What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" The wife yells back,
"It doesn't matter, just get the **** out!"

[dynamiclinklibrary]

Hehehe...
The wife doesn't care about her good-4-nothing husband anymore... :lol: :lol:

[Windoc]

:lol:
Isu nga dung-dungwen yo dagiti assawa wenno kaingungot yo ta ditayo ammo ti masakbayan.

[FlushedMX]

WORDS OF WISDOM!

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried
piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway,
it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his
neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to
shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.
Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few
shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was
astonished at what he saw. With every shovel of dirt that hit his back,
the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a
step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the
animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was
amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off.
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting
out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles
is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not
stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

P.S. The donkey later came back and kicked THE CRAP out of the farmer
that tried burying him.

Moral: When you try to cover your ***, it always comes back to get you. :lol:

[Lam-Ang]

An alcoholic son wrote a letter:

BEER dad,

GINdi na ako iinom uli WHISKEY kelan. TANDUAYan nyo yan.
pRUHMise tiTEQUILAn ko na ang pag inom.

Your SAN,
MIGUEL

[arnie]

Top ten reasons why there couldn't be a Filipino-American US President:
(I got this from a Filipino-American. Gotta know them to love them!)

10. White House is not big enough for in-laws and extended relatives.

9. Not enough parking spaces at White House for 2 Honda Civics, Toyota
Celica, 1985 Mercedes Benz Diesel, BMW (big mean wife) and MPV (My Pinoy
Van).

8. Dignitaries generally intimidated by eating with fingers at state
dinners.

7. Too many dining rooms in the White House; where will they put the last
supper picture.

6. White house walls not big enough to hold giant wooden spoon and fork.

5. Secret service staff won't respond to "psssst, psssst".

4. Secret service staff uncomfortable driving presidential car with rosary
hanging on the rear view mirror or the statuette of Santo Nino on the
dashboard.

3. No budget allocation to purchase karaoke machines in every White House
room.

2. State dinners do not allow "Take Home".

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON:

1. AIR FORCE ONE - does not allow overweight balikbayan boxes (luggage)!!!

Take that!!! :lol:

[ROXYBLUE]

Hahahaha!!!
Everything is so true arnie! :lol:

[BeefPapaitan]

Inbox ko? Nothing! :p

[juVans]

awan karga tay inbox ko ta awan email ko

[Trinity]

In-email kanyak tay am-ammok nga taga Hawaii.

Daytoy ket assignment ti maysa nga estudyante nga agad-adal iti english kas second language na isu nga nu basaem panunutem daytoy tapno maawatan yo.
Here goes:

Lim Ah Toy was asked to make a sentence using 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10.
Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1.
This is what he came up with...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and want to 5 with me. I run until I fell 6 and throw up. I go to 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him.

10 God he run away.

So I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day I call my boss and say I'm 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work.
He also asked me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1".

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE END...

and get this, Lim Ah Toy graduated from his ESL class with honor

Hope you enjoyed it :)

[FlushedMX]

Hahaha, taga ano ni Lim Ah Toy? China? Vietnam? Laos? :)

Nice one Tri!

[Myrna]

What's in my Inbox?...emails from my family, & my friends.

[lelet]

Emails from my 2 sisters. One of them got loads of pix which i already saved and the other one got loads of requests which i already sent...

Emails from friends and relatives...

[FlushedMX]

Spam: Viagra offers and links to Porn sites :(

[gemi]

Emails from friends, relatives, business partner and people I don't know. I also got an email from John Kerry and George Bush, all about the coming election.

[juVans]

ni man JACK ti adda ditoy IN THE BOX ko

[Roldan]

Kalpasan nga narsu-ud diay maikaduwa nga WTC building.

[Greggy]

adda pay nayon na daytoy. Diay statue of Liberty nga nga finger sign. Apay dimo innayon? :)

[MHTS]

Guys, anything to share from your Inbox like the previous entries? I revisited this thread and I like those ones share here.. :wink:

[CUPID]

http://www.ahajokes.com/cartoon/mtrush.jpg

[CUPID]

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-11/506540/winxp.jpg

[CUPID]

FOR SALE: 100 GB IPOD NANO.



http://img101.imageshack.us/img101/4208/ipodmega6cr.jpg[/i]

[daguerrson]

CAN YOU BELIEVE :?: I GOT 3181 MAILS IN MY YAHOO INBOX :twisted:

[Myrna]

Spam: Viagra offers and links to Porn sites :(


ading yan mon aya?....miss daka ditoyen...

[daguerrson]

GOT A LOT OF JUNKS AND PROBABLY ALL KINDS OF VIRUSES TOO. I JUST DON'T OPEN ANY OF THEM. I DELETE THEM AS SOON AS I GET THE CHANCE NOW

[BeefPapaitan]

lina files!

[darben]

my purposedrivenlife.com daily subscriptions. :twisted:

[Myrna]

my private email.....emails from my family and friends....my inbox at work?....eveything that's going on regarding my job....

[Alfe]

LOVE LETTERS.... :wink:

[kid_ikano]

GOT A LOT OF JUNKS AND PROBABLY ALL KINDS OF VIRUSES TOO. I JUST DON'T OPEN ANY OF THEM. I DELETE THEM AS SOON AS I GET THE CHANCE NOW

I do the same, kuya.

[lelet]

^
me as well

[gemi]

lots of junk mails, chain mails from friends, job mails and so on...

[linda]

friendster updates...email and junk mails

[daguerrson]

....AND SALES EVENTS FROM COMMERCIAL ESTABLISHMENTS :twisted: